The one blogger's brother (& his wife) had recently had a baby (their first child) that was born 6 weeks premature; the baby seemed to be doing fine and suddenly had health problems - which included seizures and bleeding in the brain. Further tests showed that there was no longer any brain activity and the baby was taken off of life support, dying shortly thereafter. I was SO saddened to learn of this situation - even though I do not know any of these people.
(http://www.kwernerdesign.com/blog/?p=4702)
I remembered how incredibly excited we were to welcome our first-born and couldn't imagine EVER losing a child.
I had mentioned this to Mike and he told me about a 16-month old who died in a drop-side crib incident. Mike's perspective was that losing a newborn would be far less painful that losing an older child who had so much of a bond established with the parents, as well as loads of personality.
Regardless of which situation brings more pain, I hope to NEVER find out what it is like to lose a child.
Tonight, I saw a post from a different blogger that I follow - talking about her friend who had just lost her son; the friend had 5 kids: ages 4, 3 ,2, 11 months and newborn. This week, they found that the 11-month old had died in his sleep on Monday night.
(http://stacyjulian.com/blog/?p=6301)
(http://nygardfamily.blogspot.com/2010/12/andrew-josiah-nygard-our-angel.html)
Tears welled up in my eyes when I read the brief post. Instantly, I felt heart-broken at the very thought of losing a child. I can't EVER imagine losing Sydney and hope that when the time comes, that I go before he does. I wish for him (and our unborn son) a long and prosperous life, full of good health and much happiness.
I couldn't help, but to want to go pick Sydney up from his crib and snuggle with him, giving him an extra squeeze. He hasn't been sleeping well this week and has required a lot more extra attention (and regular doses of infant ibuprofen or tylenol), but ultimately, I have NO COMPLAINTS. There isn't a better feeling than to hold your sleeping child in your arms, feeling his warmth against your body and smelling baby shampoo on his scalp; it is completely euphoric. (And Sydney's "new thing" makes me smile - even at the very thought of it - as he is constantly lifting my shirt and laying his cheek or his hands on my pregnant belly.)
This morning, he woke around 4am (while Mike was up, getting ready for work). We gave him some ibuprofen and each took a turn to snuggle with him. After Mike left for work, Sydney and I went back to bed, but he was especially cuddly so, I broke the rules and brought him to bed with me. He insisted upon using my bare pregnant belly as a pillow; I found humor in the baby moving around with Sydney's head pressed up against him. After a few minutes, Sydney moved off of me and snuggled close-by.
When we woke a few hours later, Sydney smiled when he realized that he was in bed with Mommy. He pushed himself up, gave me a kiss on the lips, took my cheeks in his hands and leaned towards my face to give me an Eskimo kiss as I lay on the bed. Then, he lifted my shirt and rested his cheek on my belly.
SO INCREDIBLY OFTEN, he makes me proud to be his mom.
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