Sydney has been testing us by challenging his boundaries a lot lately.
He has grown to LOVE watching television and has started to throw MAJOR TEMPER TANTRUMS when he doesn't get his way. Normally, during the week, we watch Sesame Street from 9-10am and often watch Sid the Science Kid until 10:30am; then, I turn off the tv. (I miss the days when I could have the Today Show on in the background as we hung out.) He had since started DEMANDING to watch tv throughout the day and has become VERY UPSET when I turn it off or say NO. He has also started demanding to watch MOVIES; he has a Winnie the Pooh movie and a few Sesame Street movies, which he is asking for ALL THE TIME NOW!
For a while now, I have felt that we watch too much tv in our household; Mike likes it on whenever he is home because he enjoys it. Sydney knows this, too, because as soon as Mike gets home, he tries to tempt him with the remote to turn on the tv after spending the day with mom saying NO. (Sadly, Sydney DOES turn the tv on himself, but needs to have the cable box on at the same time for anything to happen. Sometimes, he tries both. Sometimes, he does them in the wrong order. Sometimes, he figures it out. Little stinker.)
As temper tantrums have been getting worse, we've been watching less and less tv and I have been encouraging more playtime, more coloring, more cooking and more books. There are times that Mike gets phone calls at work where I threaten to go to the bar after he gets home from work. (I, however, do NOT drink and he knows this; although, there are instances when I feel as if I may want to start.)
Early this week, I had informed Mike that we have NOT been watching tv AT ALL!!! He seemed surprised and slightly disappointed.
There has been A LOT of yelling (clarifying: Sydney yelling, NOT US!) There has been A LOT of anger and frustration. There has been A LOT of whining.... and crying... and stomping feet... and throwing toys/books. Calmly, I remain unruffled by these temper tantrums. I quietly tell Sydney "Don't yell at Mommy." or "Let's read a book!" or "Hey, let's talk." I try and try to divert his attention to something else.
(This kid IS stubborn though! It is AMAZING how long he can carry on for!)
We had a few SOBER DAYS in and it seemed to be going a little better. With lots of distractions, it had been going well - to the point where one day, he was entertained enough that he wasn't begging for it.) One morning, I was HORRIFIED when Sydney and I came down the steps (upon waking) to discover that Mike had forgotten to turn the tv off when he left for work at 4:30am. Sydney, with an open mouth and look of genuine surprise, excitedly pointed at the tv. We watched the "Local on the 8's" and I immediately turned it off. Then, I quickly convinced him that we should go cook some oatmeal in the kitchen; thankfully, he thought that oatmeal was a great idea and I got lucky. (We spent MUCH of that day cooking and staying busy.)
Then, one day, Mike thought he would "just try a little tv" again because he thought I was over-reacting. He quickly saw first-hand WHY I have been protesting the tv and WHY I had decided to go to such drastic measures. Ironically, Mike - who HATES... flat-out DESPISES... going with me to the grocery store - VOLUNTEERED to go with me to the store after I had offered for he & Sydney to come home (after we retrieved my car from the shop) and for ME to go to the store alone. Mike INSISTED that they come with to the store because he couldn't take any more of the temper tantrums and whining from Sydney and thought that a distraction would be good for him.
For our sake, I want US to remain STRONG and IN CONTROL;
I don't want our household tv viewing to be controlled by a 20-month-old INSISTING that we watch what HE wants/when HE wants. (Thankfully, Mike has cooperated and watched tv while Sydney sleeps.)
I am hoping that by all of the movies being hidden, he will eventually FORGET* about them. (So that we ONLY watch DVDs in the car... on long trips - only if he's already napped). I am also hoping that if we keep the tv remotes tucked out of sight, that he will not be so addicted to them, needing his fix as a tv junkie. *It will be a lovely surprise to pull out the Sesame Street Christmas movies next December, don't you think?
Earlier today, I wanted to laugh when Sydney begged for tv; He was SO ANGRY that he tensed his arms, clenched both fists, raised his shoulders close to his ears, clenched his teeth, shook his head and upper body while yelling/growling at me. As much as I wanted to laugh, I did NOT do it. Instead, I hugged him and said "Wow, I can see how angry you are. I know how much you like to watch television, but we have LOTS of things to do today. Are you ready to help mommy in the kitchen?" Calmly, he hugged me and thought that helping in the kitchen was a GREAT IDEA.
I think this is a stage in development where he is testing his boundaries and trying to express his wants. (I believe you can call them "The Terrible Two's".)
He's throwing a fit when WE do something that HE wanted to do by himself. He's discovering that he is "a big boy" and is proud of all of his accomplishments as he is learning new things.
He voices his opinion on what dish he wants to eat something out of: he eats applesauce and fresh blueberries out of ramekins, NOTHING ELSE WILL DO! (You'd think it was the end of the world if you attempt to serve it out of a different bowl.) He likes the color of his cup to match the color of the lid; you can't mix a green lid with a blue cup or else: it IS the end of the world! Also, sometimes using a sippy cup is insulting, as he wants to drink only out of a kitchen glass or a regular cup - like mommy & daddy - because he is A BIG BOY!
Sometimes, he is insulted that we try to HELP HIM put on his shoes or his boots because he wants to do it himself. (He often needs help, especially with the shoes!)
We're finding that: He is very specific about picking out his own foods. He likes to look inside the fridge and decide for himself. We can make suggestions, but HE often wants to be the one to decide what HE is eating. (It was easier when he was younger and he ate what we served him; with his growing independence, he knows WHAT he likes and wants now.)
He grows VERY UPSET when he eats all of something (i.e. an entire kiwi fruit), asks for more and is told that it is ALL GONE. (Obviously, we need to work on taming this frustration so that he can, with a rational mind, realize "oh, this is all gone so, I will have to eat something else now" - without raising his voice in frustration.)
We're trying to push LESS JUICE and MORE MILK into his diet, per pediatrician's recommendations. We're told he should have 4 ounces of juice per day; we were giving him 4 ounces per serving - with multiple servings in a day. We're trying to push water as well. We've starting offering him a juice box to enjoy on Sundays when Grandpa Lowell comes to visit and not throughout the rest of the week. Today, he threw a fit that he wanted a juice box. Instead, I had offered him a cup of juice (because he hadn't had any yet today). THAT was the end of the world. Eventually, with all that fussing (and the fact that I wouldn't cave in), he decided that he was THIRSTY afterall and a cup of juice sounded great.
At almost 20-months old, he has discovered that if Mommy says NO, he can ask Daddy for the same thing. We learned this after Sydney asked Mommy for a pickle for breakfast; mommy said "We don't eat pickles for breakfast!" Within minutes, Sydney had conned Daddy into a pickle for breakfast. We figured this out and have now started leaving notes on the dry erase board on the fridge so that we're not disregarding what the other parent already said. (i.e. SNACKS: we have a YES and a NO column so that we are both clear on what choices are available and to make sure that he doesn't eat too much of any one thing... he would LOVE to eat pickles, raisins, hot dogs, and various fresh fruit all day long if we would let him. Unfortunately, we have learned that too many grapes, too many pickles, too many raisins, etc can cause a bad diaper rash.)
He's starting to show frustration when helping out in the kitchen as well - because he has a new fascination with emptying out the silverware/utensil drawers and playing with/helping to measure spices. He has figured out how to open the spice drawer on his own and (standing on tippy toes, reaching inside blindly) pull out a few spices. He has also figured out that he can drag his dining chair from his "helping station" to alternate places in the kitchen to rummage through the drawers. He's starting to push our hands out of the way because he wants to try to cut things himself - with a butter knife. He was excited to discover a set of steak knives in the back of the silverware drawer today... EEK! It is starting to look like we need child safety latches on all of our drawers now, too.
We're starting to see why they say "nothing is taller than a two-year-old" as he becomes more and more courageous with climbing and getting into trouble; he seems to have NO FEAR or concept of danger, whatsoever.
No one ever told us that parenting was easy. Now, we see WHY that statement has never been made. It is challenging, but also VERY rewarding.
(Edited) NOTE: Our child is NOT a monster; he's a VERY LOVABLE little boy who is filled with fun, fascination, loads of personality and TONS of affection! (He just started exploring "the Terrible Two's" a few months early.) We're still treading in unchartered waters here as first-time parents; ironically, I'm not as fearful to add Number 2 to the mix because we have graduated from ROOKIE-status. Sydney is just breaking us in and teaching US how to be parents. I truly, truly LOVE being a mom!
