a fear that I would love Baby Sydney MORE than I love my wonderful husband.
When we discussed my fear in bed the other night, Mike assured me that it is OK to feel that way and that I definitely WILL love Sydney more than him... because Sydney is a part of me, that I helped to create... and he'll have lived INSIDE of me for the better part of a year.
I tried to assure Mike that I will still love HIM an awful lot as well.
I'm not sure if it is that you love your child MORE than a husband... I've just been told (by others who have children) that a love for a child is different than anything you've ever felt before.
Céline Dion has a beautiful song that proclaims "there is no other love like a mother's love for her child."
I am looking forward to feeling it first-hand for myself one of these days...
to welcome him into this world,
to hold him in my arms,
to stare into that pair of eyes that WE CREATED TOGETHER,
to witness the true miracle of life – a perfect blend of the both of us
(even if I do think that the most recent ultrasound picture looks SO MUCH like Mike, moreso than myself).
I felt better (about my fear) after reading an email from my mom, spoken from the heart:
Sarah,
Don't ever fear that you will love your child(ren) more than you love your husband. It is definitely an intense kind of love, but certainly different from the love you have for Mike. Your love for him is supportive, caring and romantic/passionate whereas your love for your child(ren) is affectionate and nurturing. Both of them have become a part of you and hold a special place in your heart. A child is the ultimate gift you can give to one another based on that love.
Sydney will see Mike as his hero as he grows, but you will be the one he wants when he has needs (hunger, hurt, tired, sick). That bonding only makes sense due to you spending more time with him, but he will bond to Mike as well if Mike holds him often (especially when he's quite small and snuggles with him like he does the cats. Sydney will recognize Mike's smell, and the sound of his voice and know that daddy is there. It won't take him long to recognize that daddy is there to protect him and make him feel safe.
Yep, I feel MUCH BETTER NOW... in fact, I think we'll be just fine.
Bring on the love...
P.S. Thanks mom! (I love you!)
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Also, spoken from the heart:
