Dad can hardly contain his giggles as I tell him about my shopping trip.
"Come on, boys! Let's get ready to go shopping. We need shoes on."
"NO!" Sydney yelled. "I don't want to go shopping!"
"Little boys need shoes to shop. I'm leaving in a few minutes. The car is started."
Sydney emptied out the three kid-friendly drawers in the closet: Hats & Gloves, Silas Shoes, and Sydney shoes. He proceeded to attempt to stack the drawers together and play with various shoes.
"The brown ones would look nice with your brown pants." I declared.
"I don't want those!" he protested, picking out a pair of strappy summer sandals instead.
(I see how this is going to go...)
Eventually, we were all dressed and ready to go.
• • • • •
Scene: Walmart parking lot, parked next to a cart return. Blue skies, near cloudless. No wind. 21°F.
Mom opts to get Sydney out of the car first, since he normally chants "Me first! Me first!"
Mom opens the car door.
SYDNEY: "NOoooooo! I don't want to go shopping!!!! I don't want to be first!!!!!"
Mom pauses for a second and proceeds to unbuckle him.
SYDNEY: (screaming) "NOooooo! It's too cold outside!!! We can't go shopping!!!!!"
Mom moves around the car to get Silas out from the other side.
SILAS: "Me first! Me first! Me first!"
Clearly, he doesn't know what FIRST means.
Carrying Silas and holding Sydney by the hand, we walk towards the entrance door. Sydney howls about how cold he is and how it is "too cold to go shopping".
MOM: "Would you like your hood up?"
SYDNEY: in his screechy whining voice "Yah! It's too cold!"
Mom pulls his hood up over his head.
MOM: "There you go."
SYDNEY: In an Oscar-worthy dramatic performance "My hands are F-R-E-E-Z-I-N-G! It's SO C-O-L-D O-U-T!"
Mom stops partway across the lot, lifting Sydney into the back of a shopping cart since his legs have suddenly become broken and he is unwilling to walk. Sydney starts to howl, sounding like a wolf-pup.
SYDNEY: "NOoooooo! I wanted to walk!"
Silas also starts to protest having to ride in the cart. Mom buckles him into his seat to keep him safe.
SILAS: "NO! Want walk! short pause NO! Belt off! short pause NO! short pause NO, No shopping!"
MOM: cheerfully "So, who will find the bananas first?"
Sydney and Silas proceed to howl because they don't want to be in the shopping cart. Mom pretends not to notice them being upset and continues with the shopping trip, sticking strictly to the list and moving quickly throughout the store.
• • • •
MOM: "Who wants to pick out yogurt?"
SYDNEY: "ME!"
SILAS: "NO, Me!"
SYDNEY: "NO, ME!"
SILAS: "NO, Me!"
SYDNEY: "NO, ME!"
Mom wants to pull her winter stocking cap down over her eyes to hide.
• • • •
While riding in the cart, Silas starts to open his yogurt.
MOM: "Don't open it. We have to go buy it."
SILAS: "Buy it first."
Silas continues to open his yogurt. Mom stops the cart.
MOM: "Silas, we have to buy it. Then, we can open it."
SILAS: "Need money."
MOM: "We have money. We'll buy it. Then, you can open it."
SILAS: "OK."
Silas starts to open his yogurt.
MOM: "Silas, can't open it yet. Mommy will take it. Leave it closed."
SILAS: "NO! MINE!"
MOM: "If you open it, I have to take it."
SILAS: "Buy it. Then, open."
MOM: "Good. Yes!"
Silas starts to open his yogurt (again). Mom takes yogurt.
SILAS: "NO! GIVE BACK! GIVE YOGURT BACK!"
Cries all the way to the check-out.
• • • •
By the time we reach the check-out, Sydney has no shoes on. He is laying in the cart as if we have been shopping for HOURS. (Sadly, we've quickly picked up NINE items from five areas of the store.)
MOM: "Please put your shoes on."
SYDNEY: "NO! I don't want to."
• • • •
The boys are excited to unload the contents of the cart onto the belt, but don't want their towers to fall down.
CASHIER: "How are you today?"
MOM: "I've had better shopping trips. My helpers forgot how to be good listeners."
CASHIER: "That's too bad."
MOM: "It's sadder for them. They can't ride on the yellow car if they aren't being good listeners."
Cashier rings up our few items and bags them.
CASHIER: "Excuse me, buddy. I'm going to put some bags in behind you."
SYDNEY: rudely snaps "I don't want those in my cart!"
Mom is embarrassed by this behavior. We finish up.
MOM: "Say thank you, everybody."
SILAS and SYDNEY: "NO!" yelled in unison.
MOM: "Thank you. Have a nice day!"
SILAS: "Have nice day."
• • • •
Mom walks PAST the yellow car. The boys start howling.
MOM: "Maybe next time. Good listeners get to do fun things."
The boys fuss and carry on about wanting to ride on the yellow car. (For the record, we never put money into it; they have no idea that it turns on. Instead, we sing ABC's for each child to take a turn... when the song is over, so is the "ride".
• • • •
SCENE: At the car, parked next to cart return.
MOM: "We won't be going to Sam's Club. We have to go home now since we can't be good listeners." Sydney gives Silas a high-five.
Mom puts the boys in the car first. Then, unloads the groceries. (You know, because it was ARCTIC for the "Drama Queen".)
SYDNEY: "Good Job, Si-was (Silas)! Keep up the good work on being bad so we can just go home!"
MOM: mutters under her breath "Nice."
• • • •
As we are driving home, I ask "So, you don't like to run errands with mom anymore? Why not?"
SYDNEY: "Um, because it is too cold outside to shop and because I just don't wike (like) it."
Dad can hardly contain his giggles as I tell him about the high-FIVE and the Sydney's praise to Silas for them being naughty enough to just go home.
DAD: "I'm sorry you've got such smart kids!"
MOM: "YES, we do!"
• • • •
Thankfully, after lunch, we got ready for naptime. Silas, who normally settles right down immediately, yelled for a while that he wanted to go downstairs now. Sydney, who sometimes goes down easily did just that. We read one book and I tucked him into his bed.
YAY for naptime! Now, I'm going to go pick up my
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