Thursday, September 20, 2012

I think that our breastfeeding journey has ended :(

My Facebook status from this evening is that I: achieved GREATNESS for nursing Silas for just shy of 17 months (and Sydney for 15 months). I think our breastfeeding journey is officially over; I have successfully put him to bed (without nursing) for the past few nights and am SO GLAD that he's OK with his thumb and a snuggle instead. I could come up with a bunch of reasons NOT to quit yet... get him to 17 months, get him through this current round of teething, get him through the snuffles, get him through cold & flu season, I never video-taped his evil/excited laugh when he saw boobs, etc... BUT I will be returning back onto meds for MS next week so, it is NOW time to take care of myself instead. Nursing has been a FANTASTIC EXPERIENCE (and I miss it already!)

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I'm feeling pretty full and admiring my (now) shapely figure. Honestly, I much prefer the FULL-look to the flat-tire-look, but am unsure how I will end up when all is said and done. Time will tell, I guess...

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My old neighbor, Kate, just reminded me that WE were going to go bra shopping after I quit nursing Sydney. Turns out, I was pregnant already then so, we never shopped together. She has since had another baby and said that she, too, just quit nursing this past week and suggests that we go shopping.

I think I have been walking around with a partial Victoria's Secret gift card in my wallet for the past 3 years or more... wondering if there is ANY credit left on there after all this time (or if it was a "you don't use it, you lose it" kind of situation.

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Thankfully, Silas hasn't asked for MILK all that often. (It is SERIOUSLY SO CUTE to see him sign it!) Once in a while, he might ask during the day, but I've managed to hold him to JUST BEDTIME. On Tuesday night, I went to book club and Mike put him to bed. At some point in the night, either Tuesday LATE or Wednesday EARLY, he woke crying and I took the opportunity to nurse him (for my own comfort).

Last night, he asked for it, but seemed satisfied to snuggle with his fuzzy polartec blanket and his mommy instead. When he asked for it, I started to cry. Then, he scrunched up his nose and imitated my sniffles. (He is SUCH a cute kid!) Mike and I both thought it was pretty cute. Mike reminded me that we've had a FANTASTIC JOURNEY!

Tonight, he asked for it and I shook my head, announcing "All gone." He looked at me with a bewildered face and then, pulled at the neck of my polo shirt - trying to show me "IT'S DOWN THERE, MOM!"

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My medicine will be delivered on Wednesday. (I still need to contact the home visit nurse to set up my re-training session and my first dose under medical supervision.)

A year ago, my OB/GYN, my pediatrician, my lactation consultant AND a pharmacist whom I trust A LOT all gave me the verbal OK to take Copaxone while breastfeeding. My neurologist strongly disagreed. (At my appointment in July 2012, he didn't seem nearly as offended by the thought of it.) Mike has HINTED that he is OK with my decision IF I want to try to breastfeed while on the medicine.... you know, having my cake AND eating it, too! (I think I would have a hard time forgiving myself IF something happened to Silas because of that decision.)

Silas is cutting teeth right now and has been fussy (for him) this past week. PLUS he just got a cold. It would be nice to offer him the comfort that he needs, but somehow, I will always be able to come up with more reasons NOT to quit YET.

I really NEED to start taking care of MYSELF!!! (And with that... I just glanced at the computer clock and realized that I should have gone to bed 35 minutes ago!)




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