Tonight, at bedtime, Sydney declared that he wanted to go potty like a big boy - like Daddy - standing up. So, we pulled the stepstool that Papa Olson built in front of the toilet and got into position. I pushed his butt forward to make sure that he would pee INTO the toilet instead of onto his feet. He concentrated for a few seconds and then...
HE DID IT!!!
Sydney was THRILLED to go potty standing up like Daddy. AND...
better yet...
HE MADE BUBBLES IN THE TOILET!
He quickly ran into our bedroom (as Mike was already in bed) and proudly announced it to Mike. It was really sweet.
We also called to tell Nana & Papa about it. Nana barely said "Hello." before Sydney exclaimed "Guess what, Nana? I went potty in the toilet like a big boy standing up and I even made bubbles!"
She praised him and asked "Did you use the stepstool that Papa built you?"
"Yeah, I did!" he exclaimed.
"Did it work well?" she asked.
Excitedly, he replied "Yes, IT DID!"
"You'll have to tell Papa what a big boy you are and thank him for that nice stepstool."
"Yeah, we should. Is Papa there?"
And then, he started all over again... "Hey Papa, guess what?..."
Sydney was ONE PROUD BOY tonight. (I wasn't all that surprised when moments after putting him to bed, he announced that he had to go potty again.) He insisted that he had to go. He attempted to stand in front of the toilet, but it seemed to take too much concentration. Eventually, when we discussed the repercussions for LYING about getting out of bed to go potty, so he decided that sitting was a better option. He DID go potty and declared that tomorrow, he is going to go potty - standing like a big boy again.
• • • • •
In other news, here is my Facebook status update from this afternoon:
Sarah Olson Guard had to try hard NOT to laugh. Sydney had been sitting at the dining room table playing a Dr. Seuss Memory Matching game, while Silas sat next to him in the high chair. From the kitchen, I heard "Mommy... water! Water!" Nine game pieces floated in a giant puddle of water, while Sydney stood, holding my water bottle upside down. "Sydney, NO!" I wailed. "These are wrecked now. Why would you do that?" Immediately, he responded "The cat (in the hat) was thirsty."
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Silas CLIMBS... keep finding him sitting on the dining table
Silas has learned a new skill... if he stands on things, he is tall enough to climb onto the seat of a chair. (He knows to move things in order to stand on them, too!) Once on the chair, he knows how to climb onto the table. Once on the table, he knows that there is normally a cell phone to hold up to his ear, pretending to talk.
Silas IS a little stinker.
We've also discovered that Silas has GO-GO-GADGET ARMS. He keeps managing to get things off of the counters and table.
UPDATE: 07.12.12 - Silas discovered that he does not need something else to stand on. He has now figured out how to get onto the chairs without help. He also climbs onto the storage bench, wicker basket and couch. (Yep... we're screwed!)
Silas IS a little stinker.
(Mike documented photos of this today, as we were BOTH flabbergasted with his newest discovery.)
Step 1: Find something to stand on.
Step 2: Find something a little taller.
Step 3: Climb onto chair.
Step 4: Stand on chair.
Step 5: Climb onto table.
Step 6: Locate object that sparked your attention in the first place. (Sydney yells "Baby is on the table!")
Step 7: Act like you are supposed to be there; perhaps no one will notice.
Step 8: Answer honestly when asked "What do you think you're doing on the table?" Silas replied "TALK. DIS. (this)" and then, flashed us a big, proud smile.
We've also discovered that Silas has GO-GO-GADGET ARMS. He keeps managing to get things off of the counters and table.
The cheese popcorn didn't fare well.
OR a brand new bag of tortilla chips.
Standing on the bench. (Had to crank the window closed so that he didn't go out onto the sunporch via window.)
Silas climbs. Little stinker!
Sydney is WINNING
Sydney has started playing games at bedtime AND naptime. He discovered a few days ago that if he gets out of his bed, declaring "I'm not really all that tired..." that I had let him sit and read a book for a few minutes while I finished cleaning the kitchen. Sadly, he has tried that same line... along with the other regular excuses (have to go potty, need my blanket on, I can't sleep, need my babygate open) for every sleeping opportunity since.
Mike and I had discussed (something I read on Facebook) a plan to stop all of the GAMES. Mom and/or Dad are able to take a pillow or blanket from the child as a punishment for screwing around.
SO, we declared "Mom/Dad will put your blanket on you ONE TIME. If you get out of your bed, YOU will need to put your blanket on yourself. Otherwise, mom/dad get the blanket!"
Sydney pretended to understand THE RULES.
Last night, he played his usual stall tactic games and ended up fussing and carrying on because he wanted US to put his blanket on him (AGAIN). After a few minutes, which may have felt like HOURS, Mike caved in and gave Sydney his blanket back.
The way I saw it: Sydney won!
Tonight, Sydney did a repeat performance; however, he won some extra snuggle time in the recliner with Daddy while protesting the NEED to have his blanket back. (He lost IT for lying about needing to get out of bed to go potty... again. Mommy declared that he also lost television privileges for tomorrow, but Daddy stepped in, announcing "I got it...")
At one point, after 10 minutes of Sydney yelling and knowing that Mike needed to get to sleep since he wakes EARLY in the morning, I informed Sydney that "that is enough... GO TO BED... NOW!" Mike passed me in the hallway, went into the linen closet, grabbed a towel and proceeded to give it to Sydney in lieu of his blanket. (I informed Mike that Sydney IS winning if Mike gives him a towel; Mike assured me that HE needed to get some sleep and that he DID NOT CARE anymore.) Sydney freaked out about the towel... wanting ONLY his blanket.
I went downstairs. (Frustrated and feeling defeated.)
I allowed Mike to handle the situation that carried on for a while longer.
Moments ago, on my way to bed, I peeked into the room and found Sydney snug in his bed WITH HIS BLANKET - just like last night!
Sydney IS winning!
Mike and I had discussed (something I read on Facebook) a plan to stop all of the GAMES. Mom and/or Dad are able to take a pillow or blanket from the child as a punishment for screwing around.
SO, we declared "Mom/Dad will put your blanket on you ONE TIME. If you get out of your bed, YOU will need to put your blanket on yourself. Otherwise, mom/dad get the blanket!"
Sydney pretended to understand THE RULES.
Last night, he played his usual stall tactic games and ended up fussing and carrying on because he wanted US to put his blanket on him (AGAIN). After a few minutes, which may have felt like HOURS, Mike caved in and gave Sydney his blanket back.
The way I saw it: Sydney won!
Tonight, Sydney did a repeat performance; however, he won some extra snuggle time in the recliner with Daddy while protesting the NEED to have his blanket back. (He lost IT for lying about needing to get out of bed to go potty... again. Mommy declared that he also lost television privileges for tomorrow, but Daddy stepped in, announcing "I got it...")
At one point, after 10 minutes of Sydney yelling and knowing that Mike needed to get to sleep since he wakes EARLY in the morning, I informed Sydney that "that is enough... GO TO BED... NOW!" Mike passed me in the hallway, went into the linen closet, grabbed a towel and proceeded to give it to Sydney in lieu of his blanket. (I informed Mike that Sydney IS winning if Mike gives him a towel; Mike assured me that HE needed to get some sleep and that he DID NOT CARE anymore.) Sydney freaked out about the towel... wanting ONLY his blanket.
I went downstairs. (Frustrated and feeling defeated.)
I allowed Mike to handle the situation that carried on for a while longer.
Moments ago, on my way to bed, I peeked into the room and found Sydney snug in his bed WITH HIS BLANKET - just like last night!
Sydney IS winning!
Good Little Eater... LUNCH
Today, for lunch, Silas ate:
a container of yogurt
a half of an avocado
an entire banana
a triangular slice of pizza
He's SUCH a good little eater!
a container of yogurt
a half of an avocado
an entire banana
a triangular slice of pizza
He's SUCH a good little eater!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Bucket List got bigger... WAY BIGGER
My Bucket List just got bigger.... WAY BIGGER! I have been recently inspired by Jenny Meyerson (http://www.jennymeyerson.com/) and have re-written my Bucket List. Her list is WAY BIGGER and much better organized, but I am pleased to have done it. (I continue to add items to my list and am documenting My Bucket List HERE.)
- Now, I just need to start completing some of these items off of My Bucket List...
- See the Statue of Liberty
- Hold a hand-made sign outside of the Today Show in New York City
- Walk in Central Park - New York City
- Drive through a redwood tree
- Polar Bear Expedition in Churchill, Manitoba
- Banff National Park in Canadian Rockies
- Witness a whale swimming in the ocean
- Swim in the Gulf of Mexico - October 2004
- Swim in the Atlantic Ocean
- Swim in the Pacific Ocean
- Participate in a bell choir - even if it is just a practice session
- Take a walking tour of a city
- Trolley Ride in Dubuque, IA
- Attend a Comedy Club
- Watch a movie at a drive-in theatre
- Serve food in a food shelter
- Create a family tradition, like a December advent calendar, wrapping holiday books & movies and opening one as a family each day - inspired by Ali Edwards
- Complete a December Daily album - inspired by Ali Edwards
- Have a weekly family night - IN PROGRESS
- Eat dinner together as a family (no eating dinner in front of a tv)
- Take each kid on a special weekend trip on their 16th birthday
- Learn ballroom dancing
- Learn to play the piano
- Take a pottery class, use a pottery wheel
- Learn how to knit a scarf
- Take a tour of the White House
- See a Globetrotter’s basketball game
- Ride a mechanical bull
- Learn a foreign language
- Take up water walking for an entire season
- Tandem bike ride
- Safari Ride at the Wild Animal Park in SanDiego, CA
- Ride a SanFrancisco trolley/cable car
- Eat in (one of) Paula Dean’s restaurant(s)
- Write a book
- Learn to strip paint and refinish something
- Recover the seat of a chair with a fun fabric
- Learn to change a flat tire
- Learn to eat with chopsticks
- Take a cooking class
- Join/participate in a book club - IN PROGRESS
- Take a tour of the Chateau St. Michelle winery & vineyard (Mike's favorite) near Seattle
- Take a cake decorating class
- Learn how to make cake pops
- Host a progressive dinner party (Round Robin)
- Make homemade jam
- Learn to skate backwards on ice skates or roller skates
- Watch a sunrise in a beautiful location
- Try accupuncture
- Visit Maquoketa Caves - and maybe leave my hooded sweatshirt at home (to overcome my fear of bats)
- Visit Door County, WI
- Learn how to edit and make a video on my computer
- Learn web design (maybe to customize my blog?)
- Complete a 365 photo project where I take one photograph each day for a year
- Host a Cinco de Mayo party
- Plant a tree on Arbor Day. (Did you know that the date of Arbor Day varies depending upon which state you are in? Check out the website for each state here: http://www.arborday.org/arborday/arborDayDates.cfm)
- Attend an Adult Halloween Costume Party in costume
- Visit Navy Pier in Chicago
- Witness the changing of the Guards
- Take a candy making class
- Brew a batch of homemade beer
- Complete an obedience training class with a dog
- Visit a Bed & Breakfast in each state of the continental US
- Witness the free roaming buffalo herds in/near Sequim, WA
- Make homemade popsicles with the kids
- Take the kids to a rodeo
- Take the kids to a circus
- Take the kids to Disneyworld or Disneyland
- Take the kids to the Wild Animal Park in SanDiego, CA
- Make homemade ice cream
- Participate in a backyard campout
- Take the kids to see the monuments in Washington DC
- Take the kids to see the Statue of Liberty
- Take the kids to see Niagara Falls
- Take the kids to see Mount Rushmore
- Eat a breakfast (served to me) in bed
- Go “midget bowling” with my brother
- Hot tub - snow bank - hot tub once in my life
- Read the Hunger Games trilogy
- Read the Harry Potter series
- Read the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy
- Read the Twilight series
- Read all of James Patterson’s Alex Cross novels in order
- Take an RV vacation somewhere
- Walk and/or bike around the entire lake of Geneva Lake in Lake Geneva, WI
- Take an Alaskan Cruise
- Take a helicpoter ride, but NOT a Flight-for-Life/Life-Flight situation
- Take a ride in a seaplane
- Learn how to sew - make a dress to wear
- Take a honeymoon
- Visit all of the National Parks and make an AWESOME coffee table book/set of photojournals
- Take a lodge-to-lodge dog sled trip
- Attend a girl’s only retreat
- Photojournal (at least) one year of my life
- See Crator Lake
- Go to the Field of Dreams
- Cherry Blossom Festival in Washington DC
- Lilac Festival on Mackinac Island, MI
- Visit Greece
- Visit Italy and eat real Italian food
- Take the kids to Sesame Place, PA
- Witness the incredible beauty of Aurora Borealis/Northern Lights
- See a MoonBow at Cumberland Falls, Kentucky
- Visit the Canadian Side of the Niagara Falls
- Get a passport and go somewhere that we NEED IT
- Ride in a gondola
- See the Tulips in Holland
- Follow the Seven Falls trail to see the Seven Falls in Tucson, AZ - DONE
- Parasailing - DONE October 2004
- Train for and run a 5K
- Train for and run a 10K
- Train for and run a half-marathon
- Swim with dolphins
- Learn to kayak
- Learn to play golf and join a ladies group - DONE at Muskego Lakes Country Club in Muskego, WI
- Play golf as a family (someday)
- Snorkel in an exotic place
- Learn how to fly fish
- Learn how to spearfish
- Take a self-defense class
- Witness the end of a RAGBRAI race
- Try to surf
- Take a rafting trip
- Try rock climbing
- Ride in a hot air balloon
- Experience the awe of the Grand Canyon and do some hiking on the rim
- Try to go sailing
- Sleep overnight on a boat
- Learn the art of massage
- Pay it Forward in a restaurant (selecting someone inside and secretly paying for their entire meal) or in a drive-thru (paying for the order behind me, as well as my own.)
- Try yoga
- Take up a healthy lifestyle - eat well, take time for exercise, floss daily
- Travel to France - See the Eiffel Tower, Musée du Louvre, Château de Versailles, L'Arc de Triomphe and the Beaches of Normandy - DONE June 1994
- Climb Camelback Mountain in Phoenix/Scottsdale, AZ - DONE
- Live to see my kids graduate from high school
- Live to see my kids graduate from college
- Participate in the Mother/Son dance at the wedding of Sydney
- Participate in the Mother/Son dance at the wedding of Silas
- IF my children decide they want kids, live to meet my grandchildren
- Learn to square/line dance and do it in a public place, hoping NOT to look like a frog in a blender.
- See Céline Dion perform LIVE - DONE at Chicago's United Center in the late 90's with Mom, Sue, Rachel and Kristen.
- Attend a high school prom - DONE 1992 and 1994
- Ride in a limo - DONE at high school prom 1994 and our trip to see Céline Dion in Chicago.
- Donate blood at least once in my lifetime.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
FPoD_2012JUL07
What's the Favorite Part of your Day?
JULY 7, 2012
MOMMY: During our family movie night - watching Happy Feet - we all got out of our seats and started dancing like penguins. Even Silas joined in on the tap dancing, as well as a full-belly laugh of giggles to go with it! (He was SO PROUD of himself!)
DADDY: Our dancing; that was pretty special.
SYDNEY: Eating a popsicle.
SILAS: While eating a popsicle... the first ever for Silas... Mommy didn't make Silas share it with Sydney so that he could enjoy THE WHOLE THING all by himself!
First POPSICLE of the season (first ever for Silas)
 |
| Silas proudly followed his BIG BROTHER onto the playground equipment. |
 | ||
| After our playdate, we were SO HOT and SWEATY that we decided to enjoy the kiddy pool. We were looking in our freezer to see if we had any lemonade. Instead, we found some old popsicles (from long, long ago) and decided to eat them. THIS made Sydney's day! |
 |
| Silas enjoys his FIRST EVER popsicle. Sydney tried to get Silas to share with him (after Sydney quickly scarfed down his own) but Silas was NOT willing to share. Turns out, he really LIKED having his own popsicle! Mmmmm, good! |
Friday, July 6, 2012
The unknown is rather overwhelming
I have A LOT on my plate right now. I am doing research. I am trying to talk myself into going back on MS meds. I am trying to figure out which med to go on. I am wondering how the side effects will impact my life as a busy SAHM. I am starting to mentally prepare for weaning Silas from breastfeeding. I am worrying about my recent flare-up and wondering WHAT'S NEXT? I am conscious of numbness and tingling on & off in my right hand's pinky finger, side of my hand and up/down my forearm. I am requesting information and opinions from pharmacists that I trust. I am reading about side effects; many of which are scaring the pants off of me.
I want to be well enough to care for my kids.... for a long, long time!
I have determined that I do NOT want to take the oral medicine - as there have been DEATHS associated with the administration of the first dose and the side effects do NOT sound appealing. Plus, my history of irregular heartbeat last summer MAY rule me out as a candidate to take it.... for which I think I AM THANKFUL! (One of the pharmacists indicated that in 20 years or less, they will look back on this and wonder HOW they could have EVER administered this drug to people. After reading more about it, I wonder how long it will remain on the market.)
I freaked out earlier today when I couldn't tell if the chicken fingers for lunch were done. They did NOT feel hot to me. (Upon initial diagnosis, I was able to hold a match until the flame got to my finger and NOT able to feel the heat at all... so, naturally, I wondered if my thermo-receptors are "broken" again with this recent flare-up.) Once Mike got home (and gave me a hug), he confirmed that the oven had malfunctioned and that the pan was NOT HOT.
I sent a text message to my friend Meg - asking her if her mom is bothered by Meg's kids (ages 1 and 3, both born in June) sitting on her lap. (I feared the boys sitting on my lap during bedtime stories, wondering if it would be too uncomfortable.) Meg's mom has been on Copaxone for 11 years. She said that her mom doesn't like to be pinched or poked, but the small boys in her lap doesn't bother her. Her mom reminds herself often to reduce stress and stay cool.
Sydney had heard us talking recently and has noticed that I haven't been myself. Sydney wondered WHY I am both sad and scared. I wondered WHAT to tell him. He keeps asking questions... far beyond what I expected from a just-turned-three-year-old. I reminded him how he and Silas get shots at the doctor sometimes to keep them from getting sick. (Sid the Science Kid has done SHOTS before, too, so he knows that they are GOOD, but hurt.) I told him that I will probably have to take some shots, like that, too, but I will have to do it every day and we will have to be careful with Mommy because I might be a little bit sore from where the POKE goes... on my leg, on my belly, on my arms...
"It hurt me when I got a shot, too, but not too bad." he proclaimed.
He continued to ask questions. I stalled, gathering my thoughts. (What do I tell him so that he doesn't get scared?) I told him that I have some Boo-Boos on my brain and I need to take the medicine so that I don't get more boo-boos.
"You are OK? You feel OK?" he asked inquisitively.
"Yeah, I'm OK." I assured him.
"Good."
"Maybe you can even be my helper. Maybe you can help me take the band-aid off of my boo-boo's where the shot pokes me. You think so?" I asked.
"I can do that! I'll help you take the band-aids off and kiss your boo-boo's." he offered.
"Thanks buddy! I'm really lucky... I have YOU and Silas and Daddy and a really good doctor."
"Yeah. I hope that doctor has some really good toys to play with, too." he proclaimed.
I wondered if he would be OK with all of this adult conversation. YEP, I think he's JUST FINE!
I want to be well enough to care for my kids.... for a long, long time!
I have determined that I do NOT want to take the oral medicine - as there have been DEATHS associated with the administration of the first dose and the side effects do NOT sound appealing. Plus, my history of irregular heartbeat last summer MAY rule me out as a candidate to take it.... for which I think I AM THANKFUL! (One of the pharmacists indicated that in 20 years or less, they will look back on this and wonder HOW they could have EVER administered this drug to people. After reading more about it, I wonder how long it will remain on the market.)
I freaked out earlier today when I couldn't tell if the chicken fingers for lunch were done. They did NOT feel hot to me. (Upon initial diagnosis, I was able to hold a match until the flame got to my finger and NOT able to feel the heat at all... so, naturally, I wondered if my thermo-receptors are "broken" again with this recent flare-up.) Once Mike got home (and gave me a hug), he confirmed that the oven had malfunctioned and that the pan was NOT HOT.
I sent a text message to my friend Meg - asking her if her mom is bothered by Meg's kids (ages 1 and 3, both born in June) sitting on her lap. (I feared the boys sitting on my lap during bedtime stories, wondering if it would be too uncomfortable.) Meg's mom has been on Copaxone for 11 years. She said that her mom doesn't like to be pinched or poked, but the small boys in her lap doesn't bother her. Her mom reminds herself often to reduce stress and stay cool.
Sydney had heard us talking recently and has noticed that I haven't been myself. Sydney wondered WHY I am both sad and scared. I wondered WHAT to tell him. He keeps asking questions... far beyond what I expected from a just-turned-three-year-old. I reminded him how he and Silas get shots at the doctor sometimes to keep them from getting sick. (Sid the Science Kid has done SHOTS before, too, so he knows that they are GOOD, but hurt.) I told him that I will probably have to take some shots, like that, too, but I will have to do it every day and we will have to be careful with Mommy because I might be a little bit sore from where the POKE goes... on my leg, on my belly, on my arms...
"It hurt me when I got a shot, too, but not too bad." he proclaimed.
He continued to ask questions. I stalled, gathering my thoughts. (What do I tell him so that he doesn't get scared?) I told him that I have some Boo-Boos on my brain and I need to take the medicine so that I don't get more boo-boos.
"You are OK? You feel OK?" he asked inquisitively.
"Yeah, I'm OK." I assured him.
"Good."
"Maybe you can even be my helper. Maybe you can help me take the band-aid off of my boo-boo's where the shot pokes me. You think so?" I asked.
"I can do that! I'll help you take the band-aids off and kiss your boo-boo's." he offered.
"Thanks buddy! I'm really lucky... I have YOU and Silas and Daddy and a really good doctor."
"Yeah. I hope that doctor has some really good toys to play with, too." he proclaimed.
I wondered if he would be OK with all of this adult conversation. YEP, I think he's JUST FINE!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
LOVE waking up - feeling NORMAL again!
This morning, I woke without pain in my hand!
I love waking up - feeling NORMAL!
Let's hope this lasts...
I love waking up - feeling NORMAL!
Let's hope this lasts...
Monday, July 2, 2012
It very well COULD BE...
Saturday morning, I suddenly had PAIN in my foot. I could not recall stepping on anything or even stepping FUNNY for that matter. It was not a Charlie Horse either. On the bottom of my foot, the fleshy pad part where my toes connect to my foot itself HURT. It ached. It throbbed. It burned. Yet, there was nothing visibly wrong with it. It was not swollen. It was not red. It was not hot, nor cold. (It almost felt like the joint was what ached, but my toes moved just fine.) I sat with my foot on an ice pack for a little while; it didn't really do much though.... other than gain the attention of Silas. Eventually, I took some ibuprofen, hoping for some relief and opted to wear comfortable tennis shoes.
Throughout the day, my foot ached on and off. By night, it just felt a little STIFF.
In the evening, I noticed that I was having THE SAME joint pain in my right hand - where my pinky finger connects to my hand. My hand HURT to the touch. Throbbed. Ached. (Thankfully, no burning sensation.)
More ibuprofen. More worries.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
I searched online to see if JOINT PAIN is a possible symptom of MS. (It really IS such a strange disease... so unpredictable.) However, my search didn't really reveal much at all.
By Sunday, I had very little strength in that right hand. I also noticed that if I were to lower my fingers towards my palms, as if to make a fist, my pinky and ring finger would slam uncontrollably towards my palm when they got reasonably close. Although, I was still unable to make a fist completely. Those two fingers move up and down together and it takes concentration on my part to move them independently of one another. Very strange. (Not a symptom I have felt before.)
Thankfully, my foot was feeling better for the most part; just a little stiffness. My hand, however, remained uncomfortable all day... AND NIGHT. (I slept HORRIBLE, but wondered if my afternoon nap had anything to do with that.)
Today, I notice that I have pain running most of the length of my forearm - on the same side as my pinky and ring finger. Wonderfully, for me, it IS my right hand, too. (Note the sarcasm, as I AM right-handed.)
I called the Neurology department at Madison this morning and spoke to a nurse. I told her that I was having some strange symptoms over the weekend and wondered if it isn't my MS flaring up. She agreed that it DOES sound strange, but that it very well COULD BE the MS flaring up. My doctor is out of the office today, but often stops in regardless so, she was going to mention it to him when she sees him.
She assured me that it LIKELY will get better. If it becomes worse or worrisome to the point that I can't function, they can do a steroid treatment to tame things under control again. Unfortunately, I had hoped that there was some sort of labwork we could do to SEE if the MS is acting up; she confirmed that a MRI is the only way to confirm activity. I did inquire if the steroid treatment is safe for breastfeeding; I was hoping that MS won't be the reason that I have to quit suddenly with Silas, too. (I called the local lactation consultants to see if corticosteroids ARE safe for breastfeeding; in short-burst, small doses - they likely ARE safe.)
I am starting to convince myself that I will soon need to pick a treatment option for the MS again. Emotionally, I know that it IS probably the right thing to do. It's just that I find it SO HARD to convince myself that it NEEDS to be done; doctors BELIEVE that the meds appear to help, but there really is NO GUARANTEE that by taking the meds will REALLY change my outcome. Oddly enough, I feel as if I have come to grips with this as my destiny; yet, my eyes ARE filled with tears while I write the past three paragraphs of this blog post and I can taste the saltiness of those tears as they drip down my cheek, past my mouth.
I have so much weight on my shoulders right now. Deep down, I know that I have two remarkable little boys who NEED ME healthy and well. So, why AM I crying? The same question that we ask Sydney pops into my head... HURT or just scared? The answer: a little bit of BOTH.
I remain apprehensive about starting the injections again. IF I went back on the Copaxone again, I would be giving myself shots daily... rotating from my stomach, back of both arms, top of each thigh, and the fleshy area near my hip/butt. Then, of course, I can't help, but to think about how often I am climbed on, sat on, and jumped off of.... while remembering the bruising, discomfort and breakdown of tissue in those areas (and how a simple pat on the leg would make me flinch and wince with pain.) Oh, how I would miss to feel NORMAL again. They DO have pill-form treatments on the market now, but I know NOTHING about them. Guess I have A LOT of research ahead of me... or questions to ask of my neurologist when I see him next.
Looking online, these steps may help relieve some symptoms of MS:
Throughout the day, my foot ached on and off. By night, it just felt a little STIFF.
In the evening, I noticed that I was having THE SAME joint pain in my right hand - where my pinky finger connects to my hand. My hand HURT to the touch. Throbbed. Ached. (Thankfully, no burning sensation.)
More ibuprofen. More worries.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
I searched online to see if JOINT PAIN is a possible symptom of MS. (It really IS such a strange disease... so unpredictable.) However, my search didn't really reveal much at all.
By Sunday, I had very little strength in that right hand. I also noticed that if I were to lower my fingers towards my palms, as if to make a fist, my pinky and ring finger would slam uncontrollably towards my palm when they got reasonably close. Although, I was still unable to make a fist completely. Those two fingers move up and down together and it takes concentration on my part to move them independently of one another. Very strange. (Not a symptom I have felt before.)
Thankfully, my foot was feeling better for the most part; just a little stiffness. My hand, however, remained uncomfortable all day... AND NIGHT. (I slept HORRIBLE, but wondered if my afternoon nap had anything to do with that.)
Today, I notice that I have pain running most of the length of my forearm - on the same side as my pinky and ring finger. Wonderfully, for me, it IS my right hand, too. (Note the sarcasm, as I AM right-handed.)
I called the Neurology department at Madison this morning and spoke to a nurse. I told her that I was having some strange symptoms over the weekend and wondered if it isn't my MS flaring up. She agreed that it DOES sound strange, but that it very well COULD BE the MS flaring up. My doctor is out of the office today, but often stops in regardless so, she was going to mention it to him when she sees him.
She assured me that it LIKELY will get better. If it becomes worse or worrisome to the point that I can't function, they can do a steroid treatment to tame things under control again. Unfortunately, I had hoped that there was some sort of labwork we could do to SEE if the MS is acting up; she confirmed that a MRI is the only way to confirm activity. I did inquire if the steroid treatment is safe for breastfeeding; I was hoping that MS won't be the reason that I have to quit suddenly with Silas, too. (I called the local lactation consultants to see if corticosteroids ARE safe for breastfeeding; in short-burst, small doses - they likely ARE safe.)
I am starting to convince myself that I will soon need to pick a treatment option for the MS again. Emotionally, I know that it IS probably the right thing to do. It's just that I find it SO HARD to convince myself that it NEEDS to be done; doctors BELIEVE that the meds appear to help, but there really is NO GUARANTEE that by taking the meds will REALLY change my outcome. Oddly enough, I feel as if I have come to grips with this as my destiny; yet, my eyes ARE filled with tears while I write the past three paragraphs of this blog post and I can taste the saltiness of those tears as they drip down my cheek, past my mouth.
I have so much weight on my shoulders right now. Deep down, I know that I have two remarkable little boys who NEED ME healthy and well. So, why AM I crying? The same question that we ask Sydney pops into my head... HURT or just scared? The answer: a little bit of BOTH.
I remain apprehensive about starting the injections again. IF I went back on the Copaxone again, I would be giving myself shots daily... rotating from my stomach, back of both arms, top of each thigh, and the fleshy area near my hip/butt. Then, of course, I can't help, but to think about how often I am climbed on, sat on, and jumped off of.... while remembering the bruising, discomfort and breakdown of tissue in those areas (and how a simple pat on the leg would make me flinch and wince with pain.) Oh, how I would miss to feel NORMAL again. They DO have pill-form treatments on the market now, but I know NOTHING about them. Guess I have A LOT of research ahead of me... or questions to ask of my neurologist when I see him next.
Looking online, these steps may help relieve some symptoms of MS:
- Get plenty of rest. Crap! Mike keeps throwing it in my face that I stayed up too late a few nights last week. GUILTY! Yes, I did.
- Exercise. Ha! When would I find time for that? My husband worked 62 hours last week!
- Cool down. We are currently running central air AND two window air conditioners and remain indoors most of the time. When we have been outside, the kiddy pool has been enjoyed by all!
- Eat a healthy, balanced diet to keep your immune system strong.
- Relieve stress. Because stress may trigger or worsen signs & symptoms, try to learn to relax. (Mike tells me TO RELAX a lot.) Activities such as yoga, tai chi, massage, meditation, deep breathing or just listening to music might help. Yes, a massage DOES sound lovely; thinking that Mike's work schedule IS actually conducive to me making an appointment for a massage this week or next.
I wonder if THIS is the tip of the iceberg... the small part that we can SEE on the surface. Wondering if it will all just go away (like it has in the past) or if some of these symptoms are here to stay. Also, wondering... what's next? Ahh, the MYSTERY of the unknown... we meet again.
Deep breath. Sigh.
It's amazing how good THAT feels.
My kids will be up from their naps soon and we will be going on a playdate at a local pool (that we have never been to.) Perhaps, the distraction will do me some good. Yeah, we'll go with that...
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