Overcoming (bad) bedtime habits

I called Mike at work tonight... frustrated. I wondered "how many times does it take before your child understands the concept of getting tucked in and STAYING IN THEIR OWN BED until morning?" I've heard that it takes 30 days to develop a good habit, but FOR many, many months we have struggled with games at bedtime. I told Mike "I think I am going to send an email to your cousins to see if THEY have the same problems. OR talk to some of my local friends with similar/older kids. (I fear asking a couple of them - local friends - because they "have PERFECT children" or so they lead everyone to believe.) We can't be alone in our struggles, can we? Seriously... how long does this last?"

We have routine. We go upstairs. We brush teeth. We go potty. We (night) diaper and jammy. We read a few books, depending upon how long it took to get all other bedtime jobs done. We turn off the light (8PM-ish) and Silas announces "Twinkle Star!" I snuggle with Silas for as long as it takes to sing "Twinkle, twinkle, little" and he cuts me off, announcing "Bed now! Bed now, Mommy!" (Oh, how I wish we could make it through the song at least ONCE, but he WANTS to be in his bed and I can't hold that against him. I'm used to Sydney being such a snuggler.) Once Silas is in his crib, Sydney knows that it is HIS TURN to snuggle in the recliner with me. I tell him "I will sing Twinkle, Twinkle TWO times and hum it ONCE. Then, it's time for bed." He likes to TRY to negotiate for more, but I like to stand firm or else he takes advantage and attempts to make me jump through countless hoops. Before I take him from the recliner to his bed, I ask him "Do you want the gate open or closed?"

He always wants OPEN!

"What is YOUR JOB to keep the gate open?"

SYDNEY: Stay in my bed.

"What happens if you come out of your bed?"

SYDNEY: You shut the gate.

Then, I put him in his bed and cover him with his series of blankets... in the order that he has previously specified because heaven forbid that you wouldn't have "the scratchy blanket" on first. (If only their room were warmer, I would like to get rid of all of those extras.)

I kiss him goodnight and tell him I will see him in the morning - when the sun shines. "I love you, monkey! Stay in your bed PLEASE."

I think I don't even make it to the bottom of the stairs before I hear the sound machine suddenly louder. And then, Sydney is pillow-in-hand either 1) coming down the stairs, 2) sneaking into our bedroom or 3) coming to find me - wherever I am.

And then, when I take him back to his room and shut the gate, he fusses and cries as if "I" am "the bad guy" and it is SO SHOCKING and SO UNFAIR! Next, he will either 1) climb over the gate or 2) stand at the gate and yell... for a long, long time. He normally gets a warning "If you don't stop yelling, I will have to come close your door, too!" Sometimes, that works. Many times, NOT!

Again, "I" am the unreasonable one for shutting the door, too!

I've had (on occasion) had to put up ANOTHER babygate so that they are 2-high on the room. (He HATES that because he can't climb over it anymore.) 

We do this almost every single night and it is getting OLD!

I really WANT him to be a good sleeper. I really WANT to tuck him into bed and have him STAY THERE! (Of course, every time he comes out, he's convinced that WE need to tuck him in again.) We've tried to tell him "If I/we have to come up there to tuck you in, we have to shut the door, too."

[Turn up the chalkboard-scratching screeching whining now.]

I feel like THE ENEMY! I feel like I am the one stuck being MEAN! For real... WHEN does this STOP?

I have a hard time getting mad at him when he comes out, announcing "Mommy, I didn't get to help you do your shot yet. I think you need me to help you hold the cottonball." All of the other excuses get tiring.

For a while, he would pee about 3 drips and announce "Have to save some for later." (Grrrr!) Sure enough, 20-40 minutes later, he'd be proclaiming his need to go to the bathroom! (We're over that game now.)

Other times, he would INSIST that he didn't need to go potty. (Then, too, he would suddenly NEED to go a few minutes later. SO... it is non-negotiable now... we GO POTTY as soon as we are done brushing our teeth.... OR ELSE he doesn't get his cup of water in his bed "because you are saving all of that water in your belly instead". (He HATES not having his cup so, he changes his mind quickly to just go potty.)

Throughout the night, while WE are sleeping, we are FINALLY getting Sydney to stay in his bed. (For a while, we kept finding him in bed between us OR in the playpen in the corner of our bedroom.) In the mornings, he's also getting better about staying in bed longer. Some mornings, after Mike has left for work, he ventures into our bed and climbs in because I find him there when I wake. Many days, he comes in and announces "My clock says SEVEN now. We can get up!" (I'm OK with that!)

I figure that about the time we will FINALLY get Sydney to go to bed easily, Silas will start climbing out of his crib and we'll be back to square-ONE. Although, the way Silas WANTS to be IN his bed, I remain hopeful that it will continue to be "EASY" with him.

If only there really WAS such a thing as an "EASY BUTTON"...

My mom tells me "Sydney reminds me A LOT of your brother! He just really likes to be BY PEOPLE!" (True. AND he looks an awful lot like my brother, too!) 

Speaking of BAD bedtime habits... I really SHOULD make a resolution (or a noble attempt) to start going to bed at a more reasonable time AND getting more sleep myself. It's just, after SUCH a long day with kids all day long, I just want a little ME-time and tend to stay up too late.